Tuesday, December 6, 2011

12 6 2011 Fighting the depression

As I stare at the ceiling  at the end of the day, my cast elevated, my family asleep, the mental pain comes.  The memory of the injury, where I wanted to be in my training today.  The thoughts "if i would have just done the lift different, if i just would have skipped the competition, if i would have stopped at the 160 bag, if my coach just had not cut me, if my coach would have just cut me in a nicer way ..........

the thought go on until i drift to sleep.

I wake, in pain, cramped up, a shadow of the man i was 3 weeks ago...

I have to remember Lance came back from cancer, Drew came back from his arm, athletes come back.  I can come back, I can come back.

It is hard, I lean on my friends and family.

I can come back.